Mom-eeeeee....

Have you ever had those days where you feel like hiding behind the sofa and hoping your children can't find you? I swear if I hear the name Mommy one more time today, I might run away from home. It has not stopped for one minute all day. "I need a drink, food, more drink, more food, cover me, my pants hurt,can I..., my sock itches, needa go potty, where's my..., I'm hung-wee again!." Lord help me, it is a good thing I have no liquor in the house.

I am making a memory book for Alison's teacher as a end of the year gift. I had each student write a letter to the teacher and also write about a special memory from this year.(Very cute so far!) So, I went to print the cover today. I am out of colored ink. I bundle up Miss Hungry, thirsty, needa go potty and we head off to Staples. They don't have our ink so then we head to trusty old Target. Get home, install the ink and I foolishly think it will be smooth printing from here on out. Ha! As I go to close the cover, I drop a teeny tiny Barbie plate into my printer. I can not for the life of me get it out(can't even see it). Yet it is making my printer not load paper. Lovely.

Memorial Weekend Part 1

I should warn you that part one will consist of drama. Involving a car that sucks. Again. (Part 2 will be a positive post, I swear.)

I took the girls up to NH to stay with my parents for the weekend. (Part 2 will fall here, but not till tomorrow..lol.) We left this afternoon to head home. I stopped in Walmart to grab a snack for the kids before pulling on the highway. When we got out my car would not start. It was making odd sounds and all of the not so good lights popped on. Need I remind everyone that I just sunk $1600 into it less than a week a go? And then Friday brought it to the shop(the check engine light popped on). They checked it, cleared the code and said it was great to go. Ha! So back to the walmart parking lot.. I realize my car is not going anywhere, call DH back home to tell him to stand by. Call my father to come get us since we are in the middle of nowhere. In the meantime Alison is sobbing and upset. Nothing I can say will calm her. This rubs off on Heather. Now I am in the walmart parking lot(icky enough as is) with both girls crying and we are melting in the heat. My father comes, takes the girls in his car while I wait for a tow truck. He comes, says it looks not bad, but cant figure out what it is. Electrical, my automatic starter screwing with the computer, the engine(aaah)? He tows it back home. 100 miles away. I am now with my dad, the girls-still in the parking lot. DH's car is broken at home and he can't come get me. He finally tracks down my brother , who lets him use his car. My dad drives us halfway and we are rescued at last. After 4.5 hours. Yuck for everyone involved.

I had no intention on coming online at all today. But I wanted to post about my mom. She had her surgery this morning. I haven't seen her, but my father called to say she is recovering and doing well. He said that the Dr said it didn't appear to be anything bad. Thank god. Hopefully the biopsy says the same thing.

I can't lie and say that I am feeling much more upbeat than I was last time I posted. I'm not. There is just so much on my plate and I am not sure I am equipped to handle it. Bob ignores it all and is totally unwilling to help make any type of decisions. He does this for everything and always has, but I am just not sure I want to put up with it much longer. It isn't fair to me and it isn't fair to the kids.

I feel like a rotten mother counting down the days, but boy has this been a trying summer. Alison is a child who needs constant motion and attention. Not her fault. I have always been good at making sure she is kept busy and gets enough attention. But I need a break! She is definietly pushing every button she can this week. Poor Heather has been teased and tormented constantly(although Heather can push buttons herself, I realize this.) My mother watched them for half an hour yesterday and was frazzled when I came back. She even had to speak to Alison about being a pest. Now you see why I am counting down days till school starts! I just told Alison to pick up her room, so the first thing she grabs is the doll Heather is holding. When Heather cries, she says"Mommy said pick up." (Picture me with steam escaping from my ears)I had to explain that I didn't mean the toy Heather was using, I was referring to the other 700 toys strewn about the room. Kids...

Have I mentioned that my sugars are very high? Could it be from stress related eating!?!

Or a Nanny... These kids are really wearing me out. I feel guilty that I am looking forward to school starting, but I am telling you that this 6 year old is exhausting. What happened to children who can happily amuse themselves or play outside? Mine can't. They need me to play with them. The minute I stop Alison complains she is bored. I hope it is just her age and something she soon outgrows. I had a talk with her yesterday over what activities/sports she wants to do this fall. I told her she can pick 2. No more than that at a time! Last year we did dance, soccer, gymnastics and swim. She is deciding whether she wants to take hip hop dance or karate. Should be interesting... I think I will sign Heather back up for swim and maybe a tumbling class to help with her balance and motor skills.

Heather has been talking away. She is shocking everyone with how quickly she is putting words together. Her clarity isn't great still, but she is stringing 4+ words together in a sentence! This is a drastic improvement since even 2 months a go. She has a speech evaluation with Children's hospital scheduled for this Thursday and I amthinking that they will say she doesn't qualify for services(I can hope at least..lol.) She then has an articulation pathologist coming to our house from E.I. to evaluate her Friday. I am not overly concerned that she get speech therapy myself. I am pushing more for her to get a good OT working with her. I want to give her every chance to learn to deal with this sensory dysfunction.

We have so many appts coming up..
this week:
Wed- PT(me)
Thurs- speech eval @ Children's
Fri-articulation eval from EI, Heather PT
next week:
Mon-Alison appt immunology,starting injections(I think)
Tue- Heather dentist appt(Lord help us all!)
Wed-Heather Pt
Fri-Pt(me)

And I am watching my parents 2 dogs(one is in the middle of housebreaking too) and watering their flowers while they are away this week. Fun!

I hate that we have so many appointments the next few weeks. It is the end of Alison's break and I want to do so much with her and let her have fun. I am hoping to fit in a lot of playing and day trips around the appts.

I had an ENG done a few weeks back to see where the vertigo is coming from. So after days of calling the neurologist, she finally calls me back. The conversation goes like this:

Dr(with her thick Indian accent): your results came back abnormal
long pause(me waiting for more info)
Me: ok...so what does that mean?
Dr: your results were abnormal
Me: ok...meaning what??
Dr:which means it is either caused by neurological or inner ear, we can't tell which
(another long pause)
Me: Ok....so what do we do to fix it?
Dr: umm...hmmm.. well...(long pause) Well, your MRI from Feb. shows no tumor.
Me: Ok....so...
Dr: has the vertigo gotten any better with PT and medicine?
Me: no, actually it is getting worse
Dr: hmm...(another long pause) Take the medication I prescribed. PT may or may not help depending if this is inner ear related. I will see you at our next appt(in 2 months!)


Great! So we have gotten no where and I am left to deal with this nasty vertigo.What was the point of the nasty tests if it told them nothing? I think I will look for a new neurologist and see what they can do.

And yet I can't seem to get my thoughts organized enough to blog about it all. My mind has been frazzled lately. I have been so tired and I think it is mostly from the vertigo.I am still waiting on the results of my ENG. So I have been crankier than usual and I hate it. Of course PMS isn't helping that!The last thing I want is to be snapping at the girls(or hubby). So I am working hard on keeping my attitude in check.

Alison started camp today at our local organic farm. She was looking forward to it until last night. She came out crying saying she was scared. I convinced her it was fun and only for a few hours every morning. She looked a little unsure as I drove away, but she didn't cry. Heather on the other hand screamed on the way home. And not becuase we left Alison, she didn't even notice Alison was gone until we were home for a bit. She screamed because she wanted to stay at the farm.

I have pictures to share, but blogger is being a stinker and won't load them today. I guess I'll have to get them on later.

My long day started last night(even if that doesn't make sense). We finished dinner and I went to put the dishes in the sink. As I was walking, my knee made a loud pop and dislocated. Ouch doesn't even begin to touch that one. The girls were scarred for life. Poor Heather was sobbing and clinging to me. I tried my best to keep calm and reassure the kids I would be ok. My mother came to watch them and hubby took me to the ER. A few hours later, the Dr said that I had torn my tendon and cartilage and my knee cap had dislocated. He braced it, gave me crutches and instructions to stay off it(ha!) He told me to see a surgeon Monday. Lovely. He gave me pain medicine, but he said he checked with my neurologist who said I couldn't take them last night because I was scheduled for an ENG and EEG this morning. So I laid in bed all night, wide awake and not happy. I left at 6:30 a.m. for my tests. The ENG is something you would expect to see being done as a form of torture. Short version is that they send boiling hot water rushing through your ears, followed by icy water. Over and over. For 90 minutes(although there were other torturous tests involved too.) the technician said he couldn't give me my results, but he said that I did show many signs of severe vertigo. Hello, that is why I came. Then I had an EEG which was relatively simple and short.

Headed home, showered and grabbed the kids. Headed in to Children's hospital. Every road had road work. We parked and got inside and were already 30 minutes late. Checked in for Alison's immunology appt. and then we waited in the exam room for an hour and a half. I finally asked if they forgot we were there. Yikes. Then we hit tons of traffic on the way home. It doesn't help that the tunnels in Boston are all death traps, so everyone has to go around them, clogging the streets.

Needless to say, I am beyond exhausted and hoping for a full night's sleep tonight.

Sara asked me to post what my schedule looks like for a week. So here goes. This week actually isnt too bad.

Monday~ Wake up by 6 and get Alison ready for school
Alison is on the bus at 8 and then we head home and Heather has breakfast
then get Heather to physical therapy 9-10:30
hopefully a nap will fit in here
Get Alison at school at 3
Bring Alison to gymnastics at 3:30
Home to cook dinner, get Alison's homework done, baths and bed

Tuesday~ No school for Alison because she has an Allergy, Immunlogy and Pulminology appt at Children's
So I have a sitter coming at9(hopefully) to watch Heather
Head out to Children's for the loong day of appointments.
Pulminology is 1st with a few breathing tests and just a review of how she is
Head over to Allergy where we will meet with the Dr about meds/injections
Then she is getting a full mold panel allergy test done
Possibly lab work and injections, not sure yet
Head home through the lovely traffic
Get Alison ready for dance(if we make it home by 4:30), pack toys for Heather, pick up Alison's friend and head to dance class
Home for dinner, baths and bed

Wednesday~ Get Alison off to school
Heather has Early Intervention from 8-8:30
then we head to speech group from 9-11
Run errands to the grocery store and to the pharmacy to refill all meds
Early release, so get Alison at school at 12
Heather has a neurologist appt, maybe an EEG or CT scan, I dont know yet
Home to get dinner, baths and bed

Thursday~ Get Alison off to school at 8
I have a retinal surgeon appt at 8:30, so hubby is going to work later and driving me. I am having a
full eye exam and also laser surgery to repair(hopefully) a hole in my retina
Go home for Heather's Case Manager to come at 1 to review services and needs
Go get Alison at school at 3 and pick up food from fundraiser
Drop off the food at 2 other class mom's homes
Home for the night(yay!)

Friday~ Alison off to school
Heather has swim class at 9:30
Heather check up with pediatrician at 11
Go home so Heather can nap and I can get things done around here
Heather's speech pathologist is coming at 1
Pick Alison up at school early at 2:30 for Dentist appointment
Home to get ready for my parents to come over for dinner

Somewhere in there I also need to make the School Auction flyers for Alison's school.

So, not too bad overall. I forgot to add in giving Heather her medicines. That takes an hour a day getting her to take them.

This is what Heather tells our 2 cats as she sits on them, hugs them a little too-tightly, or attempts to lift them up by their heads. She was just sitting on Dallas(who is a girl might I add). She says "good boy!" to let her know she is being a good cat for allowing Heather to squish her. Then she gets down and walks over to where Henry is asleep under my quilt. She pokes him and pushes on the blanket where he is, all while telling him "oh good boy, wow-eee (henry)!" Think I am going to have my hands full? I can't even count how many times a day I say "Be careful"," no Heather" or "dont do that" to this little girl.

Today sitting on Dallas


Last night hugging Henry(Which quickly turned a little rough)



And I warned you I would take a pic of my calendar. Did you doubt that I would? Keep in mind that I dont even write down the "normal" activities like EI coming here. So fit those into the blank spaces if you see any!