What a difference a week makes

This time last week I was sitting here amazed at the thought of two little beans growing inside of me. Totally overwhelmed at the thought of being pregnant with two and nervous at what it would be like and my ability to do it while taking care of my busy kids. Today I sit here not pregnant, wishing I was still worrying about how I would be pregnant with twins. But I can't change it. I spent my time this week grieving for the couple and their loss as well as grieving for myself. This was such a long, emotional journey and came to such a sudden end that it was really hard on me. We plan to forge ahead and will do another transfer once my body is healed. I am glad we are going to give it another shot but I am also so fearful we will go through it all again and might have the same thing happen. I hope not, I want to be able to give them a baby. I can't wait for the day I get to hand them a beautiful little person and change their world in a way they can't imagine right now.